October Thoughts

October is beautiful, but incredibly bittersweet for me. I lost my wonderful mom 4 years ago this month, a day after her 80th birthday. I am one of only 3 people who heard her heart beat from the inside. I miss her every day. I see her in my body as it ages, I her her in my voice, and even in my emotions. As I get older, it is amazing how much I am like her. I do know that I can never, ever come close to her incredible talent and energy. That hit me so forcefully today, as I visited shops in the Arcade. Designer clothing, silkscreened linen towels, and vintage kitsch. She was a skilled seamstress, and she would have loved the fabrics and clothing I saw from the local Providence designers. Long ago, she created illustrations used on linen towels screened in Woonsocket for the gift shop trade. And the kitsch...so many of those things were part of my childhood at 99 Cushman Ave.

Sigh. Life goes on. I know she would be happy that I found a handmade clutch bag made from vintage fabric, reminiscent of 1963. Or think I was nuts for liking it! Here she is, an Irish Beauty, in the late 1950s.

Good Things Come...

I have my morning coffee and devotional while watching the birds and squirrels in my backyard. Our yard borders many acres of forest and ponds, so we have seen our share of fauna, some of it very unusual. I have been blessed to have deer and fox pass by within 10 feet of me, while I sat very still. This morning, as I do every morning, I was gazing at the woodpile when a fox just trotted out of the woods. He stopped short (she? not sure!) and went into stalking mode. The squirrels were merrily feasting on spilled birdseed and had no idea Death was Stalking. Long minutes passed as I watched the fox creep closer to the oblivious squirrel... but at the last moment, the squirrel finally saw Impending Doom and raced off. The fox relaxed and after a moment's regret, he melted back into the trees.
It was so incredibly rewarding, after months and months of staring into the woods, waiting to see what you know is out there, to actually see it. It was a wonderful blessing.

Waiting for Bilbo

The Road goes ever on and on,
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

I first read The Hobbit in 1972 or 1973 - and have read it at least a dozen times since. I loved it so much that I included the above poem in my high school yearbook personal profile in 1974. The Peter Jackson movies have been incredibly faithful to the books, and live up to the world I conjured while reading them. I went to the three movie premieres on the first showing, but I don't think I can handle a midnight show and go to work the next day again...!
I am in Summerville, South Carolina as I write this, on a long weekend visiting my Dad. The weather is gentle for December (68 today) but the chill sets in as soon as the sun goes below the trees. The camellias are in bloom. I have to say I don't want to go back to chilly New England. I heard there was snow today. brrrrrrr. No sir, I am wearing my flipflops here!

Blackberry Ridge

Aptly named, the blackberries bushes are thick and heavy with berries. I am in Calais, Vermont spending the weekend with my lifelong best friend. Jo-ann lives on top of a hill down a long dirt road. There is a sweeping vista of rolling green hills and farmland from the deck, and the peace and quiet is almost palpable. It's evening now, and a thunderstorm just passed by to the west. The mist is rising from the valley below, and it is beautiful. Like a visual tranquilizer. Nothing seems very urgent here. Work seems very far away... in fact, it's a four-hour drive away tomorrow. I'm out of cell range here, so my isolation is complete. I am sure I'll be at my desk tomorrow afternoon staring blankly at the screen, thinking about picking blackberries.

Knee Deep

It's an overcast day but when the skies lightened up I seized the moment to take a walk. The hay is high, and it smells good. The grass and clover is thick under the apple trees. Caught an occasional whiff of honeysuckle... and saw the abundant wildflowers. A walk like this is refreshing, soothing, and helps to re-focus.

A Word in Season

Psalm 4:5  "Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord."
That one jumped off the page at me, just at the time I needed it. Trusting in the Lord is my daily challenge, and it seems I get ample opportunity to do it... whether I like it or not!

Looking forward to what's next.

Heard a word today from a Christian musician who said God doesn't play it safe, and he has a wild imagination. I like that. Good reminder to me to expect the unexpected from Him, and to not play it so safe when it comes to sharing Hope.